Want a free pass from misery?
If you are feeling miserable, read on. If you don’t feel miserable, read on.
Humanity needs a kinder perspective towards misery, and I promised not to say ‘think positive’. That’s the first and last time, I’ll say it. Many people are afraid to be miserable, glum, melancholy, fed up etc.
Being miserable doesn’t fit with the Zeitgeist of our consumerist society. We must be happy and demonstrate to others that we are doing well in life. We must have lots of goals and continually push ourselves and share our filtered pictures of happiness on social media.
We fear judgement, pity and worst still, being ostracised. We swallow our tears and ignore the gnarling anxiety in our belly, and face the world claiming to be okay.
We buy products and promises of instant happiness to be continually disappointed. And in truth, you just want to smash your face in with a hammer or, (for those less inclined for drama) hide under a duvet, sup wine and scroll through pointless dribble online.
I’ve experienced misery and despite it being the most horrendous feeling, it’s a place of transformation.
It’s fertile.
Don’t fight it.
Soften into it, It’s the only way out.
Fast exits from misery without tidying up your interior caverns become costly and tiresome and leads to more misery.
I know the last thing you want to do is embrace this miserable feeling. Yes, I agree it sounds like a terrible suggestion when life feels like shit. But trust me, it’s a sensible one.
Misery chased me for decades, and I kept hiding and grabbing fast exits in the hope to escape acknowledging my dark inner landscape. I wanted to change in my life and did nothing hoping the painful feedback from my soul would go away.
One day misery grabbed me by the throat and forced me to readdress my life.
The wailings of my soul had become impossible to ignore.
I held my breath and took a massive leap of faith into the unknown.
Misery forced me to take action to make changes.
All I can say is, there is a way out of misery when you trust that. It gets easier, yeah that word acceptance will keep biting you until you taste it.
I’ve been fortunate to spend my working life with people struggling with mother earth’s tough love. I’m continually amazed at what people can face when they are ready to address their stuff.
I once had a general loathing towards a society that indeed was a projection of my own misery. That misery as much I stuffed and hid it from public viewing, it wasn’t going anywhere.
Misery hijacked me when I was stuck in traffic or irritated by others and the rest of the story is fingers, expletives and a bucketful of shame.
Forgot about settings goals or beating yourself up. Maybe you think you are rubbish, or not good enough, that’s okay, but who else agrees? Perhaps your ungrateful kids, bored partner, egotistical boss, or maybe on you think this, either way, Is it true?
We both know it isn’t. Maybe you act like a twit and are selfish at times. Being a twit is okay, alongside being miserable. We all are twits, from time to time.
Celebrate and honour humanity!
Writing about your misery or gentle torrents of dark gloom is fantastic. Take a look at Julie Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way.
When you feel miserable, you feel stuck and incapable of doing anything. Remember, trust things always change eventually. Sometimes for the better, other times not so, but either way, we can’t resist it.
When you flow and relax into the glorious swamplands of the soul, you learn a new level of resilience and courage.
Misery is fertile, so be mindful that whatever you plant and prune in the lush grounds of your mind, will yield into the outer world, like a plant.
There is an old saying, you get what you focus on… so focus on being in flow with life, learn from nature it’s a blessed teacher.
How do trees deal with the wind? they don’t fight it.
I’ll keep this sweet.
Be kind to yourself it will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
Big love
Alexia x
20 years exp in Therapy. Hypnotherapy, Jungian, Shaman, Dream weaver, driven by love.
Leicester UK, zoom apps available.
